Troubleshooting help from Honda Owners Link

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Although its very general, you may find some good tips added here

Driveway Drips
The bad news is that drops or puddles beneath your Honda may signal trouble. The good news is that discovering the likely source is easy. Just spread a large piece of paper underneath your Honda, leave it overnight, and in the morning check out the color of the drops. The color reveals the source of the problem:

Dark
A dark spot is typically motor oil. It means your engine is leaking oil and needs repair.

Red
Transmission fluid is red. Red spots may indicate that either front or rear automatic transmission seals need replacing.

Green
Green or yellow oily fluid is coolant. This leak could be caused by a bad water pump or a leak in either the radiator or a hose.

Amber
Power steering fluid is amber. An amber stain may indicate a power steering hose or pump leak.

Clear but oily
An oily liquid with little color but a strong odor could be brake fluid.

Clear water
Clear water is no need for concern. It is probably normal condensation from your air conditioner.

Yellow
Your spilling your beer or your dog just peed on your tire.

If you have identified an oil, transmission fluid, power-steering fluid, brake fluid, or coolant leak, bring your Honda to your dealer for service. If its beer, keep your butt at home, you have no business driving if you cant even drink without spilling it. Be sure to tell your Service Advisor the color, location, and amount of the leak, and when you noticed it.

Exhaust Smoke
Freshly started vehicles may emit some white smoke as condensed water vapor in the exhaust system is burned off. If smoke persists after your Honda warms up, it could indicate a problem.

White indicates an internal coolant leak

Blue indicates burning oil.

Black can indicate either an ignition or fuel system problem

Green can indicate they have elected a new pope

Other smoke problems may be the result of the rastafarian in the back seat tokin on the splife Mon

Handling Problems
Poor handling generally means your Honda needs service. Often, the culprit is misalignment. This can be caused by normal wear and tear on steering and suspension or by hitting curbs or potholes. Other causes may be the fact that your driving while intoxicated or have taken prescription medication without eating. Take your Honda to the dealership and describe the exact problem to your Service Advisor.

Odd Odors
When you smell an odd odor, take your vehicle to your Honda technician immediately. Here are a few of the more common smells and their causes:

Burning plastic
Short circuit in the electrical system.

Burning oil
Leaking oil on hot engine parts; low engine oil level; transmission overheating (low transmission fluid level).

Burning rubber
Rubber hose touching a hot engine; hot wheel or brake due to locked brake shoe.

Exhaust odor inside vehicle
Vehicle in front with strong exhaust output; trunk may be open, letting exhaust into passenger compartment; leak in exhaust pipe under passenger compartment. If there is an exhaust leak, keep windows open and turn the fan on high in the fresh air position. These toxic fumes are extremely dangerous.

Gasoline odor inside vehicle
Leaking or disconnected fuel line; defective evaporation control canister. Keep windows open and turn the fan on high in the fresh air position. Avoid open flames.

Sulfur smell from exhaust
All gasolines contain trace amounts of sulfur. The exhaust will emit varying degrees of sulfur odor depending on operating temperatures and conditions. It may not be possible to eliminate sulfur odor completely due to operating conditions.

Odd smell
Common causes of the odd smell are: Chili night, beer and burritos, beans of any type, asparigus, anything chineese, late night taco bell run, or white castles.

Suspicious Sounds
Peculiar noises are often an early warning sign. Listen to them closely — you may avoid costly repairs. Here are some common sounds and their meanings:

Click (a rhythmic tapping, similar to the click of a retractable ballpoint pen)
Loose hubcap; worn wheel bearing; bent or loose fan blade; low engine oil level.

Clunk (a dull banging or thump, as if something were being dropped)
Loose or worn universal joint or rear differential; low transmission fluid.

Knocking (a pounding or banging, as though two objects hit together)
Light knocking or "pinging" — fuel octane may be too low. Check your Owner's Manual for recommended octane level. Heavy knocking could indicate a bad connecting rod or worn crankshaft main bearing.

Screech or squeak (scraping metallic sound, often continuous)
Worn brake pads or other brake problems.

Squeal (high-pitched whine, as if something is tearing)
Under inflated tires, misaligned wheels; loose or worn power steering fan or air conditioning compressor belt.

Thud (low-pitched metallic thumping)
Loose exhaust pipe; worn crankshaft bearing

Odd sounds
Your son has nowhere else to take his girlfriend so the creeking sound in the garage is actually a combination of the back seat and the suspension.

Also see Odd Smells

If you think you have a problem, bring your Honda to your dealer for service. Filling out the Service Visit Preparation Form prior to your service will help to further pinpoint the problem.

Check Under the Hood
Even if you're not a mechanic, you can often pinpoint problem areas by looking under the hood. Check the following:
Hoses
Look for bulges and leaks with the engine running-but don't touch. When the engine is cold, look and feel for bulges, cracks, soft spots, or brittleness. If you detect any of these conditions, have the hoses replaced by your dealer
Belts
Check for cracks and missing pieces with the engine turned off. Your Owner's Manual provides a belt and hose replacement schedule.
Coolant
Check radiator coolant level by looking at the reserve tank — do not remove the radiator cap.
Brake fluid
If your brake fluid is low, it may be leaking or your brakes could be worn.

[zero]

Very funny. Good post.

[MWJohnson]

Great Post

[ridged]

Informative and humorous!