Well, I think I've told this story before, but in the hopes of saving another poor, emasculated soccer Dad, might be worth a redo.
After my third G1, and the void from Honda of no more for a couple years, what was I to do? I took the bait, and said yes! I need a minivan! I have two kids, and they BOTH play soccer! I need the room & versatility they offer, I really do. So, off to my friendly Honda dealer, and a couple hours later, I'm driving home in a shiny new Odyssey Elite. She was a beaut, had every gizmo anyone could want, and room-o-plenty. Seats would fold, flip, and even come out! I really thought this was family car nirvana.
But slowly, insidiously, I began to notice changes. I was finding interest in scrap booking. I gained another feeling. My super manly 6'5" 260# body began to shrink, muscles atrophied, and my beard went away. I cried at a movie. What in the world is going on???
Then it hit me. That VAN! It's the minivan, it has to be! I can save myself!
I immediately drove to an even friendlier Ford dealer, and crawled into the show room, and begged for help. Help me be a man again, I cried! The wise old salesman laughed, and said, been driving a minivan, have ya? Yes, Yes, I said, please help! I showed him before & after pix of myself, and he turned pale. He paused for a moment, regained his color, and said, come with me.
This is brand new this year, he said. You can haul the kids, have your back massaged while you drive, and pull a 12000# trailer. She's got not one, but TWO turbos, and she'll give a Mustang a good run. And he opened the door, and there sat the holy grail of manlyness! Birds sang, harps played, and the warm sun shown down like a beacon, on to this massive, gorgeous, 4-wheeled testosterone machine!
YES! This is what I've been waiting for! Surely THIS will make me a man once again!
I was not 5 minutes into the test drive, and my beard was completely regrown, and bushier than ever! I could see my muscles swelling, as I stared down on the little cars beneath me. I felt the need to fall trees and shoot animals! YES, this is it!
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Don't ever say a big honkin' pickup truck is unnecessary. It might just save YOUR life someday, too.