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A fellow-worker was watching a blond put in her password and she must have typed 25 keys. She then asked her why she had such a long password. The blond told her that her password info. said she had to use at least 8 characters.



Her password was: GoofyMinnieDonaldHueyLueyDueyMickeyPluto
 

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A little "off brand" humor for all y'all.
 

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An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Aaagh !! -- this is gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."


Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that's gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."


Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
 

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My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my wife insists it says dyslexia.
 

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A chicken and an egg were laying next to each other in bed. The chicken was taking a long and satisfying drag on a cigarette with a contented look on it's face. The egg, looking somewhat frustrated turned to the chicken and said, "well I guess we answered that age old question."
 

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SITuational awareness on the Coast:
Near the Gulf of Mexico seafood restaurants here are plentiful as are tourists to take their chances as various ones go through their attempt to cash in. Wife and I seated by host get great view by chance. I, nose buried in menu so enthralled checking out the choices and view paid very little attention to our server. “Hi, I’m Rebecca, I’ll be your waitress this evening . Can I get something started for you?”
Without looking up I said, “Yes, How’s your Red Snapper?” Silence... then I notice one auburn haired and a red faced pair of fiercely angry females staring me down. “I’ve decided I’m allergic to seafood and women tonight, I’ll be in the car.”
MORAL:
Look around before opening your mouth as you can hook yourself, get gutted at the dock and cut up for bait yet still be hungry. Thank goodness it’s a short season (the red fish) as like most married men, I catch a whiff of th’other more than I...
 

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Here are some of the corny jokes I share with my colleagues

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
- A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
- Beat it. We’re closed.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
- You can unscrew a lightbulb.
 

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I was in Korea in the Winter trying to find a legitimate place (far as you know) to get a massage. The lady told me when I came in dusted with snowflakes, “Take your gloves and jacket off.” I said, “Excuse me ma’am but I could have stayed warm at home and done that.”
 

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I went to our local supermarket the other day with my wife. As I pushed the cart up one of the aisles a much older gentleman pulled up alongside of me in his motorized scooter and said, "Come on, I'll race ya to the end of the aisle". We both laughed and he pulled out ahead of me and turned down another aisle. About 15 minutes later I see him again and he stops to chat. I notice he's wearing a veteran's hat as well as a veteran t-shirt. He goes on to tell me that he needed to go down to our local veterans hospital which happens to be near a University. After his appointment he decided he wanted something to read and he went into the University Bookstore which is staffed by students. He goes on to tell me the clerk asked if he could help him find anything. He asked the clerk if they had Donald Trump's new book on immigration, but he didn't remember its title. All of a sudden the clerk became irate and said to the guy to "Just get the F---- outta here"!. My new friend replied, "Yeah, that's the name of it".

The story is true, but I'm guessing the punch line has been used many times before.
 

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