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Mother Nature’s Golf Course

Two competitive gents are out for their I can do better than you weekend jaunt, only this time it’s on a course rumored to be visited occasionally by Mother Nature.
First tipsy guy tees off left trying to crush it but pull hooks it into the soggy weeds.
Feeling relieved, guzzler two pounds one but it slices hard over a line of trees so they depart to find their errant shots.
Flogger two finds his is wide open resting on a beautiful bed of Buttercups and thinks oh well, fluffy, play it as it lies. He gets out an iron and Scheef! He takes a yellow-brown-green divot nearly half the size of his bag. Just then POOF! Mother Nature appears “(tisk-tisk) Awww-you shouldn’t have done that. Those were the prettiest Buttercups in all of my land. Just for that you won’t get any butter for a year!”
He starts laughing...
She says, “What’s so funny?’
He says, “My buddy hit his ball in the puszywillows.
 

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Keeping on the golf them and actual experience not really a joke here. I caddied throughout high school. On your second round of the day you usually got *hitty golfers. It was a threesome and I was carrying two bags and a brand new caddie was carrying one bag for one of the worst golfers. On the 16th tee the *hitty golfer asks the new caddie "Hey caddie, do you play golf?" Quickly the caddie responds "No, do you?" There was an awkward second or so of pause and then everyone broke out in laughter. Easily the funniest memory of those years that I will never forget and there were many funny ones.
 

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A friend of mine had a SEVERE alcohol problem, like OMG wow, you’ll see. I took him to get help the day after he told me how bad it was.

He said, “Sometimes I drink so much I blow chunks.”

“Chunks is my dog.”
 
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