"Relay Control Module"?? Problem, help please. 2007 Ridgeline

Electrical Problems - HELP; I first had a problem two nights ago - the headlights would not go off no matter what I did. (they are "iPHCAR" aftermarket High Intensity Bulbs, each having a ballast). After i could find no fuse or relay issues, and needing the truck to start in the morning, I unplugged one headlight - the blue wire right behind the headlight assembly; I got a pretty good shock, and the light went out. So I unplugged the blue wire from the second light - same thing - shock, then off.
So, I may have ruined the high intensity bulbs, and/or the ballasts for them, but at least the truck started the next morning and i got to work. On the way home, I stopped at an O'Reilly Auto Parts store where i looked at the high intensity bulbs they had (2), and neither had a ballast in the package, and didn't mention one.
I had the battery tested by them, 750 CCAs, and "good battery". I went home, and suddenly it would not start, despite showing all power/ lights in the dash - no response from starter or engine - (tried many times, moving steering wheel and transmission selection lever - no go.

There is a feed in here about a 2008 with headlights not turning off - and at the end the guy says the "Relay Control Module". I'm wondering if that is the problem here - first showing up with lights not turning off, then not starting, but dont know. Then there's the part - O'Reilly's says they cant get one - it's a junk yard or rebuild part. Also, did he mean the entire assembly (under the hood relay and fuse box basically), or just the 7.5 amp fuse listed inside the box as "Relay Control Module" - He said it was around $400. including labor to replace, so he must of meant the whole assembly. On eBay, I find a couple, but they also call them under hood "fuse box"? Is that really it - the under hood fuse box needs replacing??
And no idea how to get headlights going again either??
Any suggestions Please...